Sunday, December 6, 2009

A Midnight Stroll

A woman walking alone in the middle of the night & how she is treated by people around can be such an eye-opener about the city & people inhabiting it.

I recently moved to Helsinki & have since then been reveling in the almost crime free city. There are no restrictions on walking on the streets late at night, with friends or alone. This is a big change from what I have been used to back home.

For all the things I love Delhi for …. I hate it more for its security concerns & issues. I recently lost a friend. She was a journalist returning from work at 3 am. She was shot to death. No one knows why. To top it all, the honorable Chief Minister said something on the lines of “it was reckless behavior for a girl to be out alone at that time of the night”.

However not once did she comment on the security concerns that surround women in the city except talking about them as they were a given. Not once did she even in passing imply that the Government would attempt to make the Capital of the Country a safer place for people to live in.


Yesterday I had gone to a friend’s place for dinner with the gang (a weekend ritual for us). After the dinner & some card games, it was decided that we go for a walk around the city center to admire the beautifully lit city of Helsinki, basking in its festive glory. We ended up walking around the place and then returning to our respective homes on our own.

After wishing my friends a pleasant night, I bumped into a couple of men who’d seen me separate from my friends. And they didn’t catcall or whistle. They asked me very politely why I was ending the night so early. They invited me to join them for the rest of the night, asked me where I was from, if I was liking the city. On my polite refusal to join them, they backed off… wished me a pleasant night & went their own way. I shudder to think how this scene would have played if I had bumped in to a couple of men with beer bottles in their hands on the streets of Delhi at 1:30 am. Needless to say I don’t think I would have been safe & sound post the encounter.

Continuing my walk to my place, I saw a man lying on the street with the bridge of his nose bleeding a little. I and a passing finnish couple woke the guy, they asked him (in finnish) if he was okay, where he lived etc. We helped him stand up, they going in the same direction walked behind him to ensure he didn’t fall somewhere again coz he was too drunk to walk straight.

Again I wonder how this scene would have played had I been in Delhi. Two major differences that I think would have been are

1. I wouldn’t have stopped to help the guy. Not even in my wildest dream would I think of doing it in Delhi. I would have just assumed the guy was a Cheap Drunk and was getting what he deserved.

2. I wouldn’t have been walking alone at 1 am, even if it was inside my own locality.

For people here, I am making assumptions here basis my 3 odd months of observations, weekends are the time to have fun. They are out on the streets with Beer cans in one hand, a cigarette lit in the other, walking around with friends till wee hours of the morning, or spending time in a Karaoke bar or a pub or a disco. So its not a big shock if you find a guy lying on the street too drunk to get up. Drinking is a way of life here.

The surprise comes when they do not do stupid reckless things. They still walk in the walking lane, they still wait at traffic signals, they do not eve tease, they respect your privacy & personal space, they try to include you into the fun they are having, they want to ensure everyone has a good time.

How I wish my beloved city was similarly safe & respectful of people. Hope I live to walk such a night in Delhi.

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

3 months of Self Revelations

It’s been 3 months that I have spent away from home or the country that I call home.

The 3 months have been a revelation in to my own self. I have figured out things about myself that I had never figured at home or for that matter even on campus (my longest time away from home).

I have realized what a freak I am. On seeing people here, interacting with them; my perspectives have changed yet again. I have realized some aspects of me that were hidden to me until now. Reminds me a little of the Johari window exercises we were made to endure in college.

I always thought I was a social person with my own frequent mood swings. Only on coming here have I realized that my social element is quite high. I enjoy spending time with friends, who doesn’t rite?

But I have also realized how much I hate being alone… loath it. Of course there are times when I need to be just with myself & no one else but these times are fewer by far.

Some other things that I realized are how much I love my mom’s food & Indian food in general. If you know me, you’ll say what about the times you were away from home earlier? Well, but I was still in India & some substitute of what my mom could cook better was readily available. Somehow here I realize the value of the food cooked with love.

The other day after one of my successful cooking experiments, while discussing it with folks back home my brother dear says “ but you were always a good cook” & I must add here that I was pleasantly surprised coz until then I had never realized that anything I did could remotely be called good.

Well, I don’t have a very high opinion of myself. Of course people say you are sweet, helpful etc etc.

But how many of them know the real me. Hell even I do not know the real me. I am still figuring things out as you probably noticed reading this little tirade of mine.

To quote a friend who was using this line for himself, I’ll say “I am my own worst critic”.

However, to return to the self revelations… I have realized that I have a bit of competitive streak with the firangs as they say. Be it competing with them on the walking speeds or attempting to stay fit (very far off for me). Also realized that this will only help me start, if I need to continue then I need a little …sorry a lot of push….

Be it checking to see if a friend exercised or not… or asking a friend to scold me if I overeat… asking another one to ensure I exercise...

The other thing that I realized is that I can practice restraint when it comes to sweets. And this for any foodie is a big deal. Yep I am big foodie & I mean big literally. :p

Signing off